The Happenings of June

Do you ever feel like you expectations ruin your enjoyment of something? Maybe you were expecting that new coffee shop to have a real modern flair and serve fair trade, non-GMO drinks, but when you pop in it's a vintage style store with cozy couches and cinnamon rolls oozing with sugary frosting and not a fancy coffee bean in sight? Not that you were gung-ho about the snobby coffee to start with, but the reality is just different than you anticipated? The reality is just great, but it isn't the same as you expected.

I feel like I often do this with events in my life, especially when it comes to recurring things, like holidays or social gatherings. I project my opinions of and emotions about the previous experience onto the next one, instead of going in with an open mind, enjoying what comes.

I'm sure it's only natural to do this kind of thing, to want to know what to expect. I wish it could be left at that though: just using previous knowledge to guide us in approaching the next scenario instead of using our knowledge to create expectations. It doesn't seem fair to use our memories of the past (for better or for worse) to measure the events of the present.

This has been a bit of a theme for me this last week. It's been a kind of push and pull between what I expected my summer to be like versus what it has been. This month of June has been great for me, but it's been pretty different than last June, which somehow leaves me with a sense of longing for what could have been, which is frustrating because when I stop and think about it, I'm very happy with these first weeks of summer. Maybe I'm entirely too aware of my presence in my own life, if that makes sense. (As in, how conscious am I of how I'm living my life). Who knows. But I'd like to reflect back on these last, beautiful weeks of June.

There've been lots of happenings that I very well could have blogged about, but I've just been in somewhat of a creative rut. This is part of my frustrations with expectations vs reality because last summer I felt like an empowered, creative blogging machine, but this summer is seeming to play out differently.  

June Happenings:

• I attended my high school's graduation as my best friend senior person graduated, which was quite the wild time. It made me realize that I'm only 2 years off from this momentous event myself, which is a little bit terrifying. I mean, very much exciting, but also scary because I feel like a 10 year old just pretending to be in high school, much less rapidly approaching graduation and college!
• I created a mermaid tail blanket thingy for said graduate. It was quite the adventure, to be sure. I couldn't find a satisfactory pattern for sewing adult sizes, so I winged it. Armed with my furry fleeces from Walmart, my machine, some trim, and a few hours I whipped it out. It's pretty fantastic if I do say so myself.
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• I wandered my grandparents neighborhood in search of sunsets photos, which is found in droves. I also came across a variety of sweet neighbors out enjoying themselves in twilight, quick to chat about the sunset or the weather. Their friendliness was inspiring: they seemed to have a grasp on what is it to be a community. We won't talk about how I got lost and walked in a nice big circle for a while.
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• I was invited to a pool party in which I volunteered to bring some snacky sumthin-sumthins. For some time I'd been thinking of using a powdered drink mix (like kool-aid) as a topping to a frosting, like I'd seen at VooDoo donuts. Now, there was also a boxed mix for Key Lime cookies kicking around in my pantry and a couple lemons in need of a purpose. I bought a few packages of grape kool-aid and set out to make lemon-lime grape cookies. They tasted great, but they looked a bit like moldy death and turned my hands jet black. I almost didn't take them over for fear of scaring everyone off, but I summoned a little bit of insane audacity and plated those suckers. After we'd swam up an appetite they were gone in a hot minute.
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• 11 family members from California and Florida gathered here for a week. It was wild. Lots of people, 2 infants, and some big kids made for a happy fun time as we celebrated my papa's 80th Birthday. I enjoyed the opportunity to just photograph life as it happened.
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• I met Mallory's kitten named Oscar, or as I'd like to call him, Toebean. I've never quite interacted with a cat like him, and I had fun being in control of the laser pointer. Felines are interesting little floofs; they can be entirely energetic and involved one minute, yet calm and uninterested the next. (Kinda sounds like my worth ethic on the blog thus far this summer)
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• I was able to harvest a small tomato crop from my garden!
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• I read The Secret Life of Bees which I found to be an involving and beautifully written read.
• My family went to Galveston for a weekend which was relaxing and exhausting all at once. Between the early morning walk and late night colors my camera and I were the happening folk.
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• I am now the proud owner of a fabulous sheep keychain, courtesy of my globe trotting friend.
• While walking out of the Salvation Army I spotted a basket of old cameras and accessories. I bought 3 lenses and 2 camera bodies, both film. I'm excited to experiment further with the grandfather of my current Canon.
• Hannah and I returned to our duck friends and we met a fearless bunny! Seriously, it even fought with the ducks. Oh, and our ducks did yoga. Sadly no photos of this because I was too stunned by their athletic ability.
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• Kumquats and cotton candy grapes have both been checked off my must try bucket list. Kumquats are like nature's warheads: they start of absurdly sour and then become twistedly sweet. Cotton candy grapes are a bit bizarre but still tasty. It's a normal grape until the juice explodes in your mouth-then you taste the flavor, which is spot on accurate.
• The canvases I ordered arrived so I hung them up!
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• I installed photoshop and edited my photo club submissions for next month, and I'm very pleased with how they turned out! Even though I used photoshop this school year, there are always new things to learn and hurdles to be jumped.
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• I enjoyed my church's black light half lock in and watermelon night, both very fun!
• I had the opportunity to photograph and film Summer Bible Adventure (fancy pants VBS) which was a total blast. I am very thankful to have had the opportunity bounce around and have access to everything happening without any raised eyebrows. Kids are mighty fun subjects, especially when they aren't sure if I'm "seriously taking pictures" and make crazy faces to see if I'll actually take the shot.
• I suffered through one of the worst attempts at dessert known to man. It was some weird cocoa (NOT chocolate) honey nut patty situation which was quite the poor excuse for a candy of any sort. I felt so deceived! Why would you market that as candy? It was awful. Seriously that's the last time I try to buy sweets from Sprouts. (Except maybe their honey sticks- they're straightforward enough)

Gracie and I camped out in the bathroom to wait out a bit of a storm. See, as I unloaded groceries it was excruciatingly hot, the air warm and still, hanging on in the way it does. By the time I'd put them all away and sat down for a bite to eat the sky rumbled before breaking open, simply pouring water everywhere, wind picking up, whipping like mad. Gracie came a bit unglued, so we hung out until she could find her chill.

See what I mean?

So very many things. All good and special in their own way, even if maybe not exactly what I expected

At the crux of it all, I suppose, is the lesson that different isn't bad, it's just different. That may be a lesson I never stop learning, which would be alright with me.